prettty much what I wanna do right now. 360 words and i am all over that bed. CUTE BUNNY!
5000 words
5000 little words and then my University life is OVER. shut the front door. this stuff is just too insane to talk about.
House viewing next week for a little studio flat. Seriously cheap…and probably not even that nice but if its decent enough and we like it. probably gonna seriousy consider getting it. Cannot wait to start that chapter of my life. its the whole grown up job thing that I can’t be doing with lol.
but that is next weeks issue.
This week is just a week of not sleeping properly and getting all my work done. easy! right?
ohhh heyyyy
having a relaxing day doing fuck all…and loving it so far. How I Met Your Mother and naps will be the bulk of my day. I have got work to do…but that cba currently. that can be next weeks job.
Next week is gonna be a busy one i think…Monday will be 3 years since my Grandad passed away so Stephen has offered to drive me home to go and put something down on his grave…it has been a while since I’ve been down to the graveyard so makes sense really.
Wednesday is Steps :) so that will be something awesome to cheer me up :)
And then the rest of the week I will be doing some work. I have 3 essays to do in about 2 weeks. soooo better get a shimmy on really lol
so here is another useless update…
So last night I came to some form of epiphany (sp?)…I want to reinvent my life. I was about to type need and then thought…no. Need makes it sound like I should feel guilty if it fails…want is the correct word. I want to reinvent my life. I want a different attitude…I am 21 in a few weeks (6 weeks to be more precise) and I feel like I need to just grow up a little bit more? Its fun having a day in bed watching dvds…but wanting to do it everyday is not acceptable anymore…so from now on that day will be sundays…the day I get with stephen and I don’t have to stress out about other things.
So the big things that need to change….firstly is diet. this isn’t me going on a diet to lose massive amounts of weight (as much as yeah alright I do need to) I’m the kind of person that needs immediate results or I will get bored and stop it. So me and the housemates…(one of which… http://simplyhealthilyhappilyhonestly.tumblr.com/ great blog on her healthier lifestyle) are introducing a fun chart system…I know what your thinking…fun and chart don’t go in the same sentence. but trust me…I need this stuff to make it work. Basically we are taking the attitude it’s not how much you eat..it’s what you eat. so no more random snacking on crap…random snacking on fruit or veg. generally trying to acheive the 5 fruit or veg thing which I hardly ever do. I’m gonna go on more walks…getting a new fitness dvd…yeah alright sounds stupid but I’m not going to a gym. I can’t do it if I think people are looking and judging….so I will do it alone in the living room and kick the girls out so I don’t feel like a twat lol. I have always been so against making a massive effort to lose weight because well…I don’t believe this type of thing should be done for anyone but yourself. and every single time I have thought oh I am gonna go on a diet and change myself it has always been followed by…’so that guy will like me’ or something like that that wasn’t about me. but I can honestly say that now it is followed by ‘because I want to’ I have a boyfriend who loves me and thinks I am perfect the way I am (he has genuinely said this to me which is beyond cute lol), I have friends that couldn’t give a fuck. I just want to do it for me… So thats reinvention number one lol.
Reinvention 2 - trying to make more of an effort with uni work. As much as I don’t believe that I will get the degree that I need to get for my career goal…it.does.not.matter. this is my new mantra for my uni stuff lol. a degree is a degree. I will get one at the end of this year…just probably won’t use it in the same way that I thought I would…which is fine. I’ve spent the whole weekend falling apart thinking I would be letting everyone down and stuff…but I won’t. I believe that they will be proud of me no matter what I do…I just need to figure out what I am gonna do.
Reinvention 3 - organise my life….having a massive clear out today. I need to make more of an effort to keep my room tidy and not collect crap all the time. I mean I love my room the way it is…it completely defines me. I just need to keep it tidier lol. so tonight I organise my crap…keep the place tidy.
I’m not really sure how long this will all last…I’m hoping that I will stay motivated to do it properly. I’ve had a couple of good upbeat days for the last couple of days…and they have been productive and I’ve felt good when I go to bed. I want this more often…I’m tired of feeling tired all the time…so I am going to see how this goes. Wish me luck.
I forget I have this sometimes…
I don’t even have anything particular to say to be honest…just felt necessary to pop up.
Having a day where thoughts pop into my head and I begin to panic slightly…like with work and stuff…and just life in general. Its becoming extremely obvious that its getting closer to that time where I have to actually be a grown up…shit is pretty much my only response to this.
I will get there…and I have an amazing help in the form of Stephen…but its still weird and scary. Couldn’t love him more at the minute…I am so lucky. No one else has any idea how lucky. I am aware of how much of a ‘girlfriend’ I have turned into…but who cares…really. I couldn’t be happier :)
just gotta get this uni work out of the way then life can start….yay?
come back now please :( I don’t want to wait a whole week :(
chances are I will be in a bad mood for work….I have had no social interaction for many hours now…he goes home a day early then he said :( I actually want to cry currently….and I’m tired of my non ability to cry these days. tears form occasionally but I don’t actually cry like I need too. such a load of bull. also…so very poor. literally no extra expenses, I can’t even afford to go next weekend but I can’t bail…fuuuuuuck……
has just had
one of the most awesome weekends ever :) I have the most awesome boyfriend ever :) it’s still really weird to say that, but I’m gradually getting used to it lol
But back to reality coz I don’t get to see him til next week ….sniff :(
Christmas shopping has officially begun…nearly got all of stephens, started mums and I know what I am getting for my dads. I’m just so fucking organised it is unbelievable :) ahahaha. I need to start picking up some extra shifts if possible soon, need moneeeeeeey! I can cope with christmas shopping, I have that pretty much under control, its just the birthdays that go with it that I can’t cope with, why does mum, dads and stephens have to be so close! The girls I can cope with coz there not as much money and its divided between a few people. ahhhh never mind. Its a good job I love christmas :) hehehe. gonna buy a tree to put up in my room soon…make it all pretty :)
anyway pointless update on life over. x
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